God has. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. ", "Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). Unlikely_Let2616 29 min. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. ~ (George Carlin). I took his shoes. 20. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. 68. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. 46. They will only bring you down to their level and beat The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. 120. He won several Grammy awards and was posthumously honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. And they will readily admit to being awkward: Im such a klutz! But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver. ~ (George Carlin). This is not good work. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care I have as much authority as the Pope. The [], Characterized by a direct and lucid prose, uncluttered from literary devices that seek to please or entertain, George Orwell, was [], How many possible words and phrases are there to express love and romance? Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountains majesty above the asphalt plain. How can He be perfect? The planet is fine. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. You have owners. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. ~ (George Carlin). And I didnt really care in the first place. ~ (George Carlin). May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). I just dont have as many people who believe it. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. - George Carlin International Dance Day 2023: Wishes and Messages for the occasion Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. And fight songs. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. Now I feel better. ~ (George Carlin). The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose., "Life is not that complicated. Theres no such thing. George Carlin If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes on Pride A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). I just dont have as many people who believe it. It creates a hostile work environment. ~ (George Carlin). It presents itself as 73. Never argue with an idiot. In America, anyone can become president. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. I have as much authority as the Pope. 41. 71. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. 61. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. ", "Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. And why would it be America out of all the countries? The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Its never just a game when youre winning. ~ (George Carlin). The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). If someone understands, good. Theres a humorous side to every situation. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Manage Settings Deal with it. ~ (George Carlin). Cocked, locked, and ready-to-rock. ", "Selling is legal. Then youre just what theyre looking for. If you enjoyed these quotes, you may also like "26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today", by Libertarian Country WebTop 10 George Carlin Quotes. Theres a humorous side to every situation. The planet is fine. Carlin didnt hesitate to criticize presidents by name Bill Clinton and George W. Bush among them but, more often, he spoke in broader terms and We dont have people like that in this country. 91. It creates a hostile work environment. Try spelling Evian backward. ~ (George Carlin). WebGeorge Carlin Quote: Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. Its perfect. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Deal with it. It will not be with jack-boots. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 2. What kind of pro-life is that? I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. For Exclusive Deals, New Product Alerts, Free Articles, Libertarian News & More! Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Police threw at him.If they were born a decade or two earlier, today's young "social revolutionaries" would've been Carlin fans. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. ", "There are 200 countries in the world now. 84. People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Thats the problem. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. 5. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. Right in the fucking head. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. Now it's the zombie liberal.They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. My mother would say, Why are you always playing alone? And I would say, Im not playin, Ma. He joked about it but he was dead serious. For your favorite quotes. Though Carlin criticized the Libertarian Party (sorry fellow libertarians), his rebellion against the status quo and political tyranny encompassed the libertarian attitude and spirit. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. No, that might be something Christ would do! George Carlin Its never going to get any better, dont look for it. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. Religion. They're all in favor of the unborn. If at first you dont succeed, redefine success. ~ (George Carlin). ", "There may or may not beatheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan. Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did. ~ (George Carlin). Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. We are. ~ (George Carlin). Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. 118. 72. This is what we have to offer. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). Thats the problem." Religion is like a pair of shoes Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. ~ (George Carlin). I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. WebThis video presents the 30 best quotes from the legendary comedian George Carlin. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. WebNov 15, 2014 - Explore Boopsie's board "George Carlin:::Political quotes:::::" on Pinterest. Maybe its because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni! Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate. As he quite rightly points out, there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. It is easy to speculate that George Carlin would have been disgusted by the thought of being a political darling for any party, and especially by the thought of being partisan media clickbait. Why would he do that? As for the poor, they tell us theyve Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ~ (George Carlin). Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. The people are f***ed. When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. everybody complains about politicians. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? They own you. 31. I had an imaginary friend I didnt bother with him. ~ (George Carlin). 74. Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day! Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. Carlin did this better than anyone else. Why? Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. Hes not a cheese. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. Its delusional thinking! It will be a lot of fun. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Fascism won it. The people are f***ed. After that, they don't want to know about you. Toothpicks? ~ (George Carlin). The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. So, have a little fun. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was. Trouble is, most of them suck. ~ (George Carlin). May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.. 22. Ironic that political wings have come to fight over claiming Carlins humor for their own affiliations when his comedy career was a controversial compilation of his own bold assessments and ruthless truths that could offend anyone and everyone on a given topic with neither prejudice nor remorse. 6. Thats the problem. These bright quotes will inspire you to not to take things so seriously in life! People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ~ (George Carlin). When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Bonus Material: Watch this video, it's Carlin at his best! Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. 4. 28. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. ", "Have you ever wondered whyRepublicansare so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. 122. 9. April 20, 2023, by Libertarian Country In America, anyone can become president. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. Instead of division let's have a laugh about what we share in common. Carlin passed away in 2008 of heart failure.With his sparkling intellect and caustic humour, George Carlin derided and criticized political, religious, cultural and taboo subjects. They are our elected officials. ~ (George Carlin). You May Also Like:80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, Harvey Bernard Milk (1930-1978) was one of the first openly gay elected officials in the United States. So I don't trust none of them.". Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Nothing changed. 14. George Carlin was way ahead of his time. 60. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. 77. 45. Whether Carlin would like it or not, his observations continue to be relevant in our present state. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Analyse the Republicans now.#DemVoice1 #Fresh pic.twitter.com/1VVJdfOnVg, Tony #DemVoice1 (@TonyHussein4) May 21, 2022. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. 110. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. 103. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. ~ (George Carlin). Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. The future will soon be a thing of the past. ~ (George Carlin). The challenge is to find it. ~ (George Carlin). We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Ioanna Zafeiriou Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. 17. It will not be with jack-boots. 94. He was one of the first to know it was all bullshit propagated by government and corporate elites. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ~ (George Carlin). 36. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. They should be giving their money to you. ~ (George Carlin). This is the best we can do folks. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. In America, anyone can become president. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Others see it half empty. 13. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. '", "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians.
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